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If one read the press, you would be thinking that Les Miserables should undergo and update such that the action is transposed from post-revolutionary Paris to the UK.
Although limited tax changes seem on the cards, is this an opportunity for Rachel Reeves, Chancellor of the Exchequer, to seek a Jean Valjean-esque redemption?
Who knows. But it is an opportunity to gratuitously change the words to Master of the House for no particular reason. Just for fun, like.
Welcome, Taxpayer, sit yourself down
And meet the finest Chancellor in town
As for the Tories, all of ’em crooks:
Jeremy’s blackhole and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
An honest women like me
Rt Hon Lady of good intent
Who’s content to be
Chancellor of the house, charming away your dole
Taking tough decisions with an open soul
History is made, smashed the ceiling of glass
But no more welfare for sitting on yer ass
Freebie to Sabrina Carpenter
Cost YOU not to freeze like ice
Nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little tithe!
“Rachel from Accounts,” isn’t very PC
but deflects attention from a dodgy CV
Watering down reliefs, raising effective rates
Everything so complex they can’t see straight
Everybody loves the Chancellor
Everybody’s fiscal friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won’t I bleed y’all in the end!
Chancellor of the house, quick to raise NI
Never was a taxpayer to pass her by
Robbing from the poor, scaring off the great
Levelling y’all down at an impressive rate!
Everybody’s boom and bust companion
Everybody’s financial chaperone
But hide away your savings
Jesus! Won’t I tax you to the bone!”
Tax beyond compare. Tax to break our oath
Just repeat again it’s all about growth
IHT on a farm, school fees add VAT
Filling in the ‘blackhole’ with this and that
Non-doms aren’t too welcome
Remittance basis no longer applies
No RBC charges
IHT trust extras levied on the side!
ATED on the co, IHT on the bricks
Two percent if the purchaser comes from Greece
Here a little slice, there a little comb
Five percent for buying y’self a second home
When it comes to raising taxes
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Keir! It’s amazing how it grows!
In the interests of balance, I have made similar posts about Jeremy Hunt. I’m totally balanced, Ok. Remember, its just for fun.
